What is Mindfulness
What exactly is mindfulness and why should we care about it? Well, we often make up our minds about something within a very short period of time. Influencers, bloggers, writers, advertisers, salespeople, almost everyone who has ever tried to engage or convince anyone of anything, knows that they must have a compelling hook. This is the extent of mine and if you are still reading, great, but at any point that can change because of a single deciding factor: a thought.
The human mind is constantly judging, interpreting, criticizing, analyzing, and narrating our experiences.
Many people aren’t deeply aware of this because they are so identified with their thoughts. They don’t see the truth until they are troubled enough to take notice of what is happening inside their heads. With mindfulness, we can become more aware of how our psyche impacts our experience, and better manage our mental health.
In fact, if you have been suffering from anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, or any sort of psychological problem, then you have probably noticed how troublesome your mind is. Often the judgments and criticisms in the mind are directed at yourself.
For instance, you may have thoughts like: “I am stupid, I am not good enough, I hate the world, what is the point of life, I am so ugly, I can’t do anything right, I give up, what’s wrong with me, everyone hates me, I am a waste of space, people would be better off without me,” and the list can go on.
We often accept what our minds say as the complete truth without challenging our thoughts.
We may have habitual thoughts that lead to anxiety, depression, paranoia, self-loathing, prejudice, blind faith or even limiting beliefs. The thoughts we have now are what many of us accept as reality; that is if you are even aware of what those thoughts are.
Many people still aren’t aware of their thoughts because they are so identified with thinking that they have never observed their own mind. If you have recognized how troublesome your mind can be, then you are one step closer to finding peace and freeing yourself from psychological suffering.
Mindfulness is pure awareness in which we give our attention to the present moment without adding any judgments, interpretations, and thoughts to our experience.
I really started to understand the power behind this with one simple exercise. I had done this practice in the past with fruit and water, and loved it every time, but this time we were using raisins and I was disappointed.
My first thought was, “ewww! Yuck! Who decided on raisins???” I had eaten them before but never seemed to like them. The practice was simple and while it may sound silly if you’re new to mindfulness, I highly recommend trying it.
For about 15 minutes, we were asked to engage all our sense perceptions to keep our attention on an object, in this case, a raisin. We observed the shape, color, the shadows, the highlights; I noticed the wrinkly texture, its flexibility, and softness. The more I looked, the more I saw.
Then came the part I was dreading; taste. “YUCK!” I kept thinking. We placed the raisin on our lips, then into our mouths and finally, we were asked to bite down on it. I closed my eyes, tensed the muscles in my face and reluctantly bit down. Immediately there was a sweetness and I relaxed. It wasn’t “raisiny” like I was expecting. It was just sweet, and it was perfectly okay.
By the end of the exercise I could no longer say I hated raisins, nor would I say I liked them. It was all okay; it was neither good nor bad.
This is the essence of mindfulness: to become aware of the present moment and allow our experience to unfold, to accept it, and to let go of expectations and judgments.
This exercise taught me how my mind was clouding my reality. I had an expectation and a belief that was untrue. My mind was saying “yuck” the whole time, yet my experience proved to be simple and untainted. If this is what was happening with raisins, what else was it happening with? It was happening all the time.
All the self-talk phrases I mentioned at the beginning of this post have cycled through my mind and I believed I wasn’t good enough. This self-criticism drove me to self-harm and I finally became aware of the cause. While these thoughts still pass through my awareness at times, the identification with them has thinned away. They no longer have the same pull.
Photo by: Ali Al-Hashimi
Let go of judgments and expectations by first recognizing them when they arise, and naturally, you will be able to let them go.
When I began practicing mindfulness it was hard for me to stop judging myself right away and to be fully present. I was constantly drifting off into thought. I started by observing my mind and saw how my mind judged or criticized something. Generally, things were either good or bad, but both were judgments and I wanted to be able to let them go.
For example, whenever I drove, I would have thoughts like “where did this person learn to drive?!” I saw that my mind was taking everything personally too: “He cut ME OFF! WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS?!” I saw how angry these thoughts made me. Then my mind would say “wow, you are never going to get this mindfulness stuff, you suck at this” and for the first time, I could recognize “hey! That’s a thought! That’s a judgment!”
When you see this mental dialogue playing out, you can stop taking it so seriously.
Eventually, I stopped taking all these thoughts so seriously and I became more present. I was starting to shift my attention away from my mind and I was just breathing and enjoying life.
This was the point that my sense perceptions would become engaged. When I moved away from thinking I could just sit and be. I see now that life is not what the mind has to say about it. In fact, mystical words are sometimes used to describe states of ‘no-mind’. This is because there is such a contrast between the psychological mind that we often perceive the world from and reality, which is beyond thought.
Most are not yet aware of the vibrant simplicity of the present moment. Nothing more needs to be added to this moment. When thinking arises, it is usually about the past or the future. It is never about this moment here, because thinking actually takes you away from the present.
Take a moment right now, and just breathe.
Look around without judging or interpreting anything you see. Keep breathing and if your mind drifts off into thoughts, just notice what is on your mind and gently bring your attention back to this moment.
Engage your sense perceptions. Notice any sounds, colors, shadows, light, touch, taste, smell, and just be here. Breathe and relax. Don’t discount the power of mindfulness.
May you find peace in the present moment, where just this is enough and you are enough.
With Love,
Ravelle
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