The Link Between Desire and Suffering
If we picture “desire” as a tree and “clinging” as a rope, suffering arises when we tie one end of the rope around ourselves and the other end to the tree. The tree and the rope can exist, but it is our identification with them that binds us. Both desire and clinging arise in our consciousness and we can be aware of them because we are separate from them.
We do not need to tie ourselves to either but because we believe we can obtain something of value, we continue clinging even when it causes us pain.
Although we have the power to untangle ourselves, we do not realize that this is the freedom and joy that we are actually craving. Instead, we think the tree is the source of power, happiness, wealth, success, and love, and that we need to grasp the rope tightly in order to fulfill our wishes, but this is an illusion.
When we cling too tightly to our desires, we can be swept away by them. They can make us restless, greedy, thoughtless, and unhappy. Often one desire is fulfilled, only for another to arise.
We see this now with various forms of consumerism: we buy products because at the moment they make us happy, only to later lose interest in them and move on to the next thing. The cycle often repeats with no end in sight. This cannot be true happiness.
This constant longing creates a sense of lack and thus we feel that we are not good enough and that life is not good enough as it is.
All that we lust after will only provide temporary satisfaction. Any external form is subject to change and if you look closely at your life, it appears full of highs and lows. Sometimes it seems things are working out smoothly while other times it may seem like everything is going wrong.
This oscillation may not always be immediately evident, but we must become conscious of what is occurring. Everything in this world is temporary. Nothing remains the same and thus we will never find permanence in a transient world.
Often we are unaware of how desires blind us and can inadvertently lead to our downfall. Sometimes we want something so badly; we believe it to be perfect even when it is not. We become deluded. Imagine someone walking through a forest with an insatiable hunger and they happen upon some poisonous berries. The desire to satisfy their hunger is so strong that they eat the berries, disregarding the consequences.
In modern society, we see people taking unnecessary risks to obtain the perfect selfie. They put themselves, others, their pets and even their own children at risk, for photos and videos that they can later post on their social network. Their desire for status and attention deludes them and they do not see the harm or the suffering in it.
More commonly, lust for another person can cause a multitude of delusions if we do not have enough awareness to see it.
At the root of all desire is the longing to preserve and enhance one’s sense of self. This craving comes from the mind as we often avoid anything that causes us to feel diminished. We seek more so that we can be more and have more. This leaves us in a constant state of dissatisfaction and unease. Look closely and you will see that the source of these desires arise in the mind. The mind craves self-preservation and self-enhancement.
As you investigate how desire impacts your life, you will gain clarity and insight. Learn to see your desires objectively so you may gain separation from them. Investigate for yourself and come to your own understanding. When you see the madness, you will know it is time to let go. We can still have desires, but now we can be wise rather than deluded. With wisdom, we will see that all external forms are impermanent and are not deeply fulfilling.
Asking for permanence and certainty in an impermanent and uncertain world creates suffering. It is like asking the sun to stop being hot. It is merely working in accordance with its nature, and we must see that everyone and everything is also working according to their nature. We cannot force our will even though our desires may trick us into thinking we can.
Life for the one who lets go is pure, open, peaceful, clear, and unobstructed. How can one let go? See that everything in the world is apart from you; it is not inherent in your being. Therefore, you do not need to remain a slave to your desires. You are apart from both the tree and the rope and this recognition of who you are in your essence will untangle the knot.
As you deepen in your own self-awareness and understanding, the illusory world will be pierced. Many things will lose their meaning, but it will not be a painful loss. It will be a beautiful one. You will unravel yourself and you will know freedom.
With full love,
Ravelle
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That was beautiful. I learned a lot from this💯💚
Thank you Freud. I’m delighted to know this article resonated with you. May you be happy and well 😊🙏❤️